Are You Listening or Just Hearing?
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and they’re looking you in the eye, nodding their head in response to what you’re saying, but you can tell they’re not really paying attention? They’re hearing the words coming out of your mouth, but you can tell they’re not truly listening. My Dad will sometimes have fun with people in situations like this and randomly drop fake acronyms just to see if the person notices. A family friend used to play the organ at his local church, and in the middle of a beautiful religious tune he’d drop in a few chords of the Star Wars theme song - because he knew we would notice, but that most people wouldn’t.
As part of the sales process, we’re taught so many techniques and steps to follow. We spend time learning about our products and services so that we can recommend the right solutions to our customers. However, what we often miss is the importance of truly, genuinely listening. We live in an era where we’re so easily distracted, requiring us to be more disciplined and deliberate about how we focus our attention. New technologies like generative AI (aka, Chat-GPT) are making it easier to create content that isn’t written by an actual human (by the way, I did write this post if you’re now wondering), leaving us questioning the authenticity of our online interactions.
While these advances in technology are concerning to some, it’s also going to increase the value of true authenticity. So let’s connect this back to the sales process, where I believe that truly listening isn’t just about showing authenticity - it’s about making sure you truly understand the clients situation so you are best prepared to help them. When lack of trust is the #1 reason people don’t buy from a salesperson, being a strong listener is a great way to build true connection.
Three Levels of Listening, Plus One More
I saw an insightful post on LinkedIn recently from Jackie Simon who is a Leadership Development coach. I’ve known Jackie for many years, and in addition to being a wonderful human being, she’s a true pro at her craft. As a leadership coach, she needs to be a strong listener. It’s actually part of the training and certification process of being an accredited business coach from the Co-Active Training Institute.
Here’s 3 Levels of Listening that Jackie shared:
Level 1 Listening: Listening primarily to yourself despite being in conversation with another individual. You are only half-hearing the other person.
Level 2 Listening: Listening that is intently focused on the other individual. There is no distraction and even your own thoughts do not get in the way of focusing on the individual.
Level 3 Listening: Listening is still very directed to the individual, but it has a wider range. You pick up on body language, the tone and inflection of the individual’s voice, and what the individual is saying and not saying.
What a great way to break this down! A 4th Level I’d add to the above, which I see as especially relevant to salespeople, is to ask probing follow-up and clarification questions to make sure you truly understand.
People rarely are able to communicate detail to a level that the listener can understand every nuance, background point, or history of what’s being said. If you aren’t 100% crystal clear on what the other person is saying, ask a question so you can understand. This is the only way to become genuinely empathic and get as close as possible to putting yourself in their shoes so that you can coach or recommend something to help.
Examples of Hearing vs. Listening
Here’s some situations that I often experience or observe when someone is hearing as opposed to when they’re truly listening.
Client Comment: “Sorry I’m late. It’s been an incredibly busy day.”
HEARING Salesperson Response: “Ah, yeah I know what you mean. Me too!”
LISTENING Salesperson Response: “I understand that. Is everything okay? What’s eating up your time today?”
By showing that you’re listening, you create an opportunity to learn more about what’s going on in their world, which could include key priorities you should know about. Even if it’s something they’d rather not share with you, it shows you care.
Client Comment: “This is an important year for our company with key objectives around productivity and profitability increases.”
HEARING Salesperson Response: “We are hearing that a lot, and I think we can help.”
LISTENING Salesperson Response: “Why is that and how are those objectives different than years prior? Can you tell me about some of the initiatives? What are your initial thoughts on how our company could align to those objectives?”
These are not uncommon corporate objectives, and on the surface could seem like clear objectives because we all think we know what “productivity” and “profitability” mean. But this becomes an opportunity to understand what they mean to the client, to ensure you are in sync.
Client Comment: “Our client NPS scores haven’t been the best, so we are looking for ways to improve that without sacrificing GP or time in field.”
HEARING Salesperson Response: “I see. We can work on a solution together.” (self talk of this salesperson - “I have no idea what they just said.”)
LISTENING Salesperson Response: “I’m sorry, maybe I should know this, but can you explain what you mean by that?”
So often we don’t ask a follow-up question because we fear it communicates our lack of knowledge or expertise. I’ve asked a clarifying question like this thousands of times, and not once has a client communicated being annoyed. What they typically do is apologize to me for using internal jargon, and thank me for asking them to clarify.
The Reward of Listening
The next time you’re in a client conversation, make sure you truly understand everything they’re saying. Don’t leave anything up for interpretation, and if you don’t have time to ask all the clarifying questions you want, then write them down so you can follow-up later. I’ve found that by really probing deeply into the clients situation and their business, there’s so much you can learn which is interesting and actually quite rewarding. Rewarding because you learn something new and sharpen your business skills, but also because the reward for truly listening is that you understand the clients problem better than anyone else - which often results in winning their business.